My Struggle With God

I've heard people say "You know that you know that you know." That is the only way that I can believe in God.

There are days when I don't know if I really believe in Christianity and want to become a Buddhist. Other days I want to reject all religion because I start to think it is just too much trouble. It is too hard to follow the rules. Don't covet, love others as yourself, yada yada yada. I wonder if even Billy Graham felt this way on occasion. Did he get up to the microphone and preach on days when he didn't really know if there is a God or just wanted to go home and take care of his own business.

My maiden name is Thomas and it is sure reflective of the "doubting Thomas" attitude I have had throughout my life. But, I often remember the time when my little 7 & 8 year olds in Sunday School asked, "How do you know God is really there?" I responded with no doubt, you feel God in your heart. And they all nodded knowingly.

So there it is. I doubt. I don't doubt. I doubt. I don't doubt. But in the end, I know that I know that I know.

Lovey